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Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships: 你想建立积极的人际关系吗?那么确保不要做一下十件会毁灭关系的事情。1. Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you're being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others'shoes first. If it's not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it's not something others will appreciate either.1. 给伤害性的。你曾经因为缺乏机智而伤害过他人吗?你可能觉得你是在帮别人,但是你可能伤害别人。首先,替别人想想。如果你不愿意听到那个,那么对于别人而言,可能也不愿意。2. Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn't getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.2. 给予解决的方法,当别人只是需要一个倾听的对象。可能只是一个保守的结论:很多时候人们只是需要倾诉。实际上,人们对于他们所面对的问题,已经有了解决的方法,他们只是在寻找能与他们分享心事的人,因为他们日子不好过。我有一个好朋友,经常插嘴提建议,当我只是想分享我的沮丧时。我们的对话变得非常沉闷——到最后我停止了诉说,因为我没有寻找到我的避难所。我们应该更加谨慎地去意识到对方需要什么,然后调整自己去适应。3. Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn't make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that's appreciated by everyone.3. 具有批判精神,觉得自己高高在上。没有人喜欢被批判或者被贴上标签。如果你不停地他人的言行,那么你所评价的内容正好反映了你自己。并不能将别人变成更好的人。这会让别人没有安全感。谦卑是每个人都欣赏的永恒的美德。4. Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people — it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.4. 远离批评。你是如何看待他人的批评呢?你是对批评敬而远之,置之不理?还是充满感激地倾听,在批评中积极地成长呢?学习与批评你的人相处——这恐怕是你将获得的最重要的技巧。5. Telling people what to do. Most of us don't like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.5. 告诉别人做什么。很多人都不喜欢被别人呼来喝去。学会激励别人,同等地看待别人比对别人呼来喝去更有用。 /201110/156200Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.; What#39;s in your box?; asked the friend.;A cat,; answered Mrs Brown. ;You see I#39;ve been dreaming about mice at night and I#39;m so scared! This cat is to catch them.;;But the mice are only imaginary,; said the friend.;So is the cat,; whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。

Sun Wu (535 B. C.~480 B. C.), whose courtesy name was Changqing, was born at Le#39;an (now Huimin,Shandong Province).孙武(公元前535年~公元前480年),字长卿,齐国乐安(今山东惠民)人,春秋末年著名军事学家。Revered as ;Sun Zi;, he was a well-known military strategist in late Spring and Autumn Period. To escape from domestic chaos, he took refuge in the State of Wu, where he was appointed general by the king. Under his command, the forces of Wu defeated the strong army of the State of Chu, subdued the people of the State of Yue, and deterred the states of Qi and Wei.世称“孙子”。因避乱奔吴,被吴王任命为将军,西破强楚,南越人,北威齐晋,为吴国立下汗马功劳。Sun Wu#39;s The Art of War, composed of 13 articles, was the first systematic book on military strategies and tactics in ancient China and one of the earliest works on military strategies and tactics in the world.撰有《兵法》13篇,是中国古代第一部有系统的兵书,也是世界上最早的系统精辟地论述战略战术问题的军事学著作。In his theories, the art of war lies in the strategies of conquering the enemy. He held that five factors are of pivotal importance in the military affairs, that is, dao ( the moral law ), tian (heaven), di (earth), jiang (the commander),and fa (method and discipline).在战争中,如何制敌取胜是孙子军事学理论中首要的问题,他认为有5种因素最重要,即“道”、“天”、“地”、“将”、“法”。Dao refers to political strategies, which require the monarch and his people to make concerted efforts to support the war.“道”即政治,要求君民和衷共济,上下同心同德。Tian and di refer to the natural conditions in warfare.“天”与“地”是白然条件,在战争中起重要作用。Jiang refers to the qualities of the military commander,in which “zhi (wit), xin (credibility), ren (benevolence), yong(courage), yan (strictness)” are a must.“将”指将帅的素质,孙子提出,将帅必须具备“智、信、仁、勇、严”5种品质。Fa refers to the relevant rules and regulations during warfare. Decrees must be issued and the systems of penalties and rewards must be applied to reinforce these rules and regulations and to heighten morale.“法”是制度规范,要建立健全的法令制度,运用赏罚的手段来加强法纪,激励士气。In The Art of War, Sun Wu elaborated on his strategic principles, which include ample preparations before war, better manoeuvrability over the adversaries, go-ahead offensive tactics, mobile and allied warfare, secret operations and flexible commanding without always obeying the sovereign#39;s decrees.《孙子兵法》中阐述最多、最出色的是战略战术,战前充分准备、贵以智谋取胜、掌握战争主动权、打运动战与速决战、行动神秘莫测、将帅指挥不受君主干扰,这些都是孙子的战略原则。The Art of War is rich in dialect thoughts, an example of which is Sun Zi#39;s suggestion that the interactions among climatic, geographical and human factors are pivotal in combats. Also of pivotal importance are the quick and flexible reactions to complicated situations, on which Sun Zi pointed out that ; he who can modify his tactics in relation to his opponent and thereby succeed in winning, may be called a heaven-born captain;.另外,他提出临阵击敌的战术技巧有“诡道”十四法、“四治”战法、集中优势兵力、出奇制胜、因地制宜、势险节短、讲究阵法、用兵“八戒”等。《孙子兵法》中充满了辩思想,如他强调“将”、“天”、“地”三者之间的互动互制,提出了综合天、地、人为一体的系统沦思想。他还强调变化,“能因敌变化而取胜者谓之神”。His assertion that ;all warfare is based on deception; reveals his perception of the special nature of strategics as an art.此外,他认为“兵者,诡道也”,揭示了军事的特殊规律。 /201508/393882

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